Lessons Learned

On this Father's Day I thought it might be appropriate to review some lessons learned and unlearned from my father...

Swimming lessons - throw kid as far into lake as possible, repeat until kid swims or drowns

Bike lessons - launch under-sized kid as fast as possible on over-sized bike

Driving lessons - explain patiently in a calm, quiet voice that "THAT IS THE #%$*ING CLUTCH!!"

Relaxing lessons - snore loudly through entire episodes of the Monkees and Batman

Eating lessons - try new things - raw liver, horse radish, celery flavoured oatmeal

Sports lessons - watch entire seasons of hockey while sound asleep

Mowing lessons - get two ride on mowers, one that only goes and one that only cuts - pull the latter behind the former

Dental hygiene - Dentist Schmentist! pull all loose teeth with thumb nail

Home renovation - why do it right when you can do it now!

Preventive Maintenance - "If it ain't broke - fix it until it is."

Music lessons - from Doc Watson on 78 to Boxcar Willie on 8 track 

These "lessons" are not in any way meant to be disrespectful of my father - I could never do that. Besides, he is up there in Heaven helping to hold the place together with bent coat hangers and duct tape, waiting for me and I am pretty sure he is still wearing a belt.

There are also a few lessons I did not learn. Like how to grow a successful garden - guess I should have paid more attention. Or how to go to war and how to bravely face a terrible disease - hope I never have to learn those lessons. And finally how to face the end with dignity - I guess I will have to wait and see about that. Meanwhile I think I will try to remember what I have learned already and keep working on that gardening.