Everyone knows what the title of this blog says because we all speak and read Pig Latin. Anyone who was ever a kid learned it as a second language. The linguistics are quite simple; take the first letter off a word, stick it on the end and add "ay". Cat becomes atcay and dog becomes ogday. Not exactly a tough code to break but every kid was proud to learn this cryptic language. It was fun to pretend that we could all speak in a secret code, forgetting that our parents were kids once too and knew everything we were saying.

But some of us soon became bored with this simplistic language and moved on to higher things - something we called Long Pig Latin. I'm not exactly sure who invented L.P.L. and I have never heard it spoken anywhere else. It may have been my sisters and cousins trying to amuse each other during our many extended visits. After all, in the days before computers and televisions with 500 channels, there was plenty of time to come up with an entirely new language

The rules for L.P.L. were a little more complex than regular Pig Latin, but nothing that one couldn't master over the course of a few long summer afternoons. I learned this language over 45 years ago and I can still speak it quite fluently with very little recent practice. If only French was so easy to master - I might be a cabinet minister today.

Here is how it worked. Consonants were simple - you took a letter, added a U and then repeated the letter at the end. So B would be bub, C would be cuc and D would be dud. Like I said - simple. The vowels were a little more challenging but that is the case in any language. A few ground rules had to be laid as follows:

The letter A was pronounced "ah", E was pronounced "ee", I was pronounced "eye", O was "oh", and U was "you". But what about the letter "Y"? This posed a rather tricky verbal problem but someone's inspired solution was to pronounce it as "whinney". And when I say inspired I am sincere - as it gives the language a unique and distinct flavour as you will see in the sentence "I like to ride my bike" translated below into Pig Latin and Long Pig Latin:

Pig Latin: I ikelay otay ideray ymay ikebay.

Long Pig Latin: I lul-eye-kuk-ee tut-oh rur-eye-dud-ee mum-whinney bub-eye-kuk-ee.

Speaking in Long Pig Latin was challenging to master and was more like spell talking - as you had to actually spell each word as you went along; this is also what made it so long. Google in Pig Latin is Ooglegay as we already know, but you have to agree that Gugohohguglulee is way more exotic and impressive. I will admit that it takes a bit of getting used to but give it a try and I promise it will grow on you. It is a language best learned sitting on a porch swing all day or lying on a lawn staring at clouds for endless hours. But as so few of us have time for that kind of dedication anymore that I fear it is destined to become a lost dialect. Thank goodness there are still some of us left to document this little bit of linguistic history.

Like any language you must use it or lose it. It would be a shame for this language to be lost - think of the time that would have been wasted on those long ago summer days. Maybe it's not too late for a revival, thankfully there are still a few of us original speakers out there, and you know who you are. The rest of you can learn it - I know you can. So here is a little message to encourage you. Relax, take your time and always remember...

"Pup rur ah cuc tut eye cuc ee  mum ah kuk ee sus  pup ee rur fuf ee cuc tut!"