Merry Christmas Sandra Dunham*

(*small gifts)

My Christmas story this year has the obscure title "Merry Christmas Sandra Dunham" but I decided to give it the subtitle "small gifts" in honour of those small but memorable Christmas gifts that we have all either given or received. The ones that seem to stick in your memory and somehow remain meaningful throughout the years. I think when you read this story you will see why I added the sub-title.

This story is also about saying thank you for all those small gifts. Thank you to all the people who have made, and continue to make Christmas so special. So what's with the jet plane and who is Sandra Dunham? Well, that is what we in the story writing business call a "hook" and it is meant to pique your interest. If your interest is sufficiently piqued - then I suggest you read on...

Christmas, as we all agree, is a time for giving but that is only one side of the equation isn't it? Givers need someone to give to - otherwise what would be the point? I have been the giver of many gifts, but I have also been the "getter" and that is why I want to say thank you. I have a lot to be thankful for so let's get started! And where better to start than with my parents?

Thanks, Mom and Dad, for all the fine Christmas dinners and the trees and decorations. Thanks for all the toys and thanks for the clothes and socks and underwear that I didn't appreciate when I was a kid. Thanks for staying up late, being Santa Claus and filling my stocking with all those small gifts.

Thanks to my wife for buying me what I didn't even know I needed, for knitting me wool socks and sewing me a Christmas night shirt. Thanks for staying up late with me on all those Christmas Eves and helping me be Santa Claus. Thanks for wrapping all those small gifts and thanks for reminding me every year how important they are. Thanks to my kids for all those small gifts that parents love the most. And thanks for letting me sit through all those Christmas concerts...

Thanks to my sisters and brothers for sharing all those exciting Christmas Eves and glorious Christmas mornings, for trimming all those trees and putting up garlands in the many houses we lived in. Thanks for all the small gifts that added up to so many under all those trees, and thanks for the special visits over the holidays - past, present and future.

Thanks to my in-laws for the gift of visiting us on so many Christmases when you could have been home enjoying your own small gifts. I continue to be amazed and appreciative of anyone who is willing to endure the stress and inconvenience of traveling at Christmas. In some ways this may be the best gift of all...

To my good friends I say thanks for all the Christmas cards, the parties and the laughter; thanks for all the small gifts we have exchanged over the years. Our families have grown but we still make time to be together during the Christmas season.

And finally, a special thanks to Sandra Dunham. A girl in my class in grade seven who must have been oh so thrilled when she drew my name that year for the Secret Santa exchange of gifts. We didn't really talk or even know each other - so how did she know how much I loved model airplanes? How did she know how much happiness a small but appropriate gift can bring? Maybe she just got lucky or maybe she had a thirteen year old brother - all I know is that on a stormy last day of school in 1965 that small, inexpensive gift sure made an impression on me. After forty odd years I can still remember the fun I had sitting at the dining room table putting it together. Isn't it amazing that of all the gifts I have received over the years this one still stands out?

I hope I didn't miss anyone, but in case I did - let me say it all over again. "Thanks - I love it!" "How did you know?" "Just what I wanted!" and "You shouldn't have."  In closing I just want to say may we all continue to both give and receive those small gifts. God bless us all... and Merry Christmas Sandra Dunham!

YOU BET YOUR BULBS!

Congratulations! You have just won an allegedly fabulous set of festive Christmas bulbs! Not those wimpy, low watt eco-bulbs either - these are the real thing. Bright, shiny bulbs that light up even in the daytime. The kind that make your power meter spin like a Christmas top! The kind that can inflict third degree burns! You know the ones I mean - the ones that leave no doubt that Christmas is a time for joy and celebration, not penny pinching and thrift. Be thrifty the other eleven months of the year... like me.

And just what is the deal with those new age Christmas lights anyway? Dark, soul-sucking black holes of money saving anti-matter. If people buy them for the energy savings, then maybe they could save even more by turning them off completely. What is wrong with a few strings of brightly lit red, green, yellow and blue bulbs? And the brighter the better - if you want to save the planet go hug a tree, preferably a Christmas tree.

When it comes to Christmas lights I am a purist - as far as I am concerned Santa's suit is still RED, holly and ivy are still GREEN, candle light is still YELLOW and the last time I was in the mall, Elvis was still having a BLUE Christmas. So now that you have put up with my Christmas rant it is time to play YOU BET YOUR BULBS! 

Of course no one actually keeps the bulbs they win - they merely qualify you to play the game. The rules are simple - the first six contestants to visit the Y.B.Y.B. website (click here) and find the hidden bulb that is a link to a special email address can enter for a chance to BET YOUR BULBS! Just click on the secret bulb (hint - it is red) and email your guess at the mystery number between 1 and 100. Don't forget to type "You Bet Your Bulbs" in the subject line or you will be disqualified. The person closest to the mystery number could win a cash prize of up to $100.00. As a finalist, you will be asked a skill testing question and then your name will be entered in the big cash drum. If your name is selected, my lovely assistant Vanna will then spin the big cash wheel revealing your wonderful prize. The winner will receive an email from You Bet Your Bulbs so be sure to check your inbox often.

Confused? Don't be - it's all part of the fun. Somebody has to win and it might as well be you. So what are you waiting for - today might be your lucky day. Merry Christmas and thanks for playing YOU BET YOUR BULBS!

PS This is not my annual Christmas story either - still working on that...

Brother Can You Spare a Tree?

Don't worry, this is not my Christmas story – I am still working on that masterpiece. This is just a little seasonal anecdote that I thought I might share to pass the time and hopefully give my faithful readers a chuckle or two.

A few years ago when we lived in a large house downtown, I decided to put a small Christmas tree on the front porch roof for all to enjoy. As usual I didn’t want to spend a lot of money so I thought I would go off to the local farmer’s market on a Saturday morning in early December to look for a smallish, cheapish tree. Also, as usual, I did not have much money with me – in fact for some reason I only had five dollars and eighty six cents - but how much could a small tree cost anyway?

I was browsing around the tree lot and there were some real beauties on display - seven, eight and nine feet tall. The prices seemed to range from about $40.00 and up, a little out of my range, but I was undeterred. I saw a man with a pick up truck full of what appeared to be smaller, less cultured trees so I wandered over to have a look. I told him what I had in mind and he held up a few candidates, some six footers that went for around $30. "Do you have something smaller?" I asked – "it is only for display outside on the porch". And lo and behold he reached under the truck and pulled out just what I was looking for – it was just over 4 feet tall, kind of scraggly but it would do fine for my porch roof. "How much?" I asked – and when he replied “How about six dollars?” I knew that with a little Yuletide haggling it would be mine.

Now just as I was reaching into my pocket for my $5.86, it so happened that my friend Mike Kennedy, a Saturday market regular, was walking by. Mike is a fine Irishman who never passes up an opportunity to point out my inherent Scottish "tendencies".

“Watch that cheap Scottish bast...” he had begun to joke with the tree merchant just as he heard me making my stingy offer of $5.86 - the timing cold not have been more perfect! Mike got to witness me in all my Scottish glory - haggling over fourteen cents on a Christmas tree and I think it might have made his day.

Anyway, I got the tree - put it up later that afternoon in a big wind and caught a miserable cold that stayed with me throughout most of the Christmas season. I doubt that there is much to be learned from this little story but I can't help thinking there is a moral here somewhere, maybe something Dickensian or even Biblical?  But upon further consideration I think Mike was right after all - it's just a little Christmas story about a cheap Scottish bast...