Up a Tree

Have you ever wondered what your life would look like as a TV program? No? Well I have. Consider it for a minute. What would it be? A game show or a reality show? Maybe a talk show with a never ending parade of guests dropping by. After giving it a little too much thought I have decided that my life on TV would be a classic sixties half hour sitcom, complete with commercials, theme song and of course a catchy title.

The cast of "Up a Tree" would be basically me and Julie, coping with our daily domestic situations, sharing good times and bad - now and then dealing with our dysfunctional family members and entertaining our wacky friends. I even have my theme song all picked out - a slightly uptempo instrumental version of "Misty" - the Johnny Mathis classic.

Picture it. As the theme song plays I enter the kitchen, announce that I am home, park my keys and wallet on top of the fridge and open the door in search of a pre-dinner snack as Julie patiently rolls her eyes, folds her arms and mugs for the camera. As the opening credits roll, I toss my hat at the hook on the wall and miss it every time - tedious and predictable but always good for a laugh.

Like most classic sitcoms and indeed real life, nothing much ever happens on my show. Maybe I misplace my car keys or forget to put water in the coffee maker again... how about an episode about building a deck or getting the lawn mower out of winter storage? Doesn't sound like much but you would be surprised what some clever sound effects and a well placed laugh track can do. And there are no parental advisories due to foul language, violence or nudity  - unless it is my turn to do the laundry.

No need to worry about missing an episode of  "Up a Tree" because it airs pretty much 24/7 - and there are always plenty of reruns. So tune in any time, sit back and put your feet up. And as that other TV show used to say - "Ya'll come back now - hear?"